8.23.2014

"Why you gotta be so rude?"

I’m obsessed with the song “RUDE” by Magic!

The song goes;
Why you gotta be so rude?
Don’t you know I’m human too?

It goes on to say “I’m gonna marry her anyway” And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to marry Krista anyway.

It’s been almost a month since the news went viral about Krista and I’s relationship. I wish I could sit here and tell you that every response that we received was heartfelt and positive. Sadly, it was not.  I don’t want to make this entire post about the negativity we received, but my heart is just too heavy to sweep it under the rug.

Every time my cell phone goes off with a text message I think it’s another person texting me to say that they are disappointed in me. Every time my phone starts ringing, I think it’s another person calling to tell me to say “I don’t agree with you, but I love you anyway”. PHEW! That’s a relief! I’m so glad to know that you don’t agree with how I’m "choosing" to live my life. Interesting thing about that particular statement is that I never asked you whether you agree or not. People say “I’m entitled to my own opinion” and you’re absolutely right, you are. However, you are NOT entitled to share your opinion when it is not merited.

Since Krista and I shared feelings for each other I began therapy with an incredible woman of God. I owe a lot to her. She’s kind, non-judgmental and she reminds me that I am the one who chooses how I want to be treated. For as long as I can remember I feel like I’ve never had a problem with conflict. A few weeks into therapy and I was smacked across the face with the news that I most definitely do NOT like conflict and confrontation. Her words “You’re so strong, it’s interesting to me that you don’t like confrontation”.

Who does? Why would you want to sit across the table from someone and tell them how they hurt you? Why not just cut that person out of your life? Why not just forget the nasty words they said to you? Because when I do that, the only person who suffers is ME.

This process has forced me to stand up for myself and for my future spouse. In my entire life I’ve never been so mistreated, felt more humiliated and talked down to. I’ve also never had so many one on one meetings so that I could let people close to me know that they’ve hurt me. This doesn’t mean that now I like confrontation, this just means that I am choosing to not sit on the sidelines while others discuss and dissect my life.

There are bigger more important things in this life than to talk about my life and how you think I’m ruining it. That’s not up to you to decide. I don’t talk about your ugly haircut that I think you should have never gotten. Because my opinion about your life doesn’t matter. It’s your life for a reason. YOU decide how you live it.

My nephew Luca says this funny phrase whenever someone in life just doesn't get it. “I think you need to go back to kindergarten”.

Like they say in kindergarten, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”.
Don't you know I'm human too.

1 comment:

Tori E said...

i have no idea how to follow blogs or like things but i would like this and follow you if i knew how ahh