A few days before my 27th birthday in 2011, I slipped and fell outside my apartment on the wet pavement. I didn’t think much of it until I started hurting really bad days later. After a painful three months I was finally diagnosed, the results were that I had two bulging discs pinching my sciatic nerve. I tried anything and everything you can imagine, none of it worked. After the most trying season of my life that lasted seven months, I finally had surgery on April 18th, 2012. Please feel free to roam about my previous posts for the nitty gritty.
It’s been four months today since I had my back surgery. Where did the time go? I find it hard to believe that four months ago I was in excruciating pain with very little hope left. This was my last chance at relief, and my last chance at getting my life back.
On April 18th I woke up at 5am and headed to Kaiser Fontana Medical Center with my mom and sister to check in for my surgery. I was scared, nervous, anxious, excited, but above all, I was hopeful. I was hopeful that God would use this to make me healthy again. But more so hopeful that He would use this as part of my story that would impact others.
Pain isn’t pleasant to say the least. It distracts you, consumes you, and at times it causes you to doubt God’s goodness. I confess that in my seven month process of x rays, MRI’s, steroids, bed rest, spinal injections, physical therapy, chiropractor visits, etc. I started to get frustrated with God. Questions like “If I’m such a faithful servant why won’t you heal me?” A lot of prayer, a lot of searching, a lot of counseling later, I realized this;
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
I know that without a doubt God used this pain for my good. He used it to open my eyes to a world I never knew. To be more compassionate, loving, and understanding. To have the ability to say “I know how you feel, and I’m sorry”. Through this whole process the thing that helped me the most was someone saying “me too”. To know that you aren’t alone is truly a gift.
Since the surgery I’ve been able to sleep again, exercise, rest, go on walks, hiking, racquetball, etc. I’ve been able to get my life back! I never thought I’d see the day where I was genuinely happy again. I thank God everyday for the miracle that has taken place. I feel like I got another chance at life. I don’t intend to waste any of it.
I encourage you to keep climbing your mountain regardless of how big or small it is. I never thought that physically I would make it to the top, but God is faithful. Live everyday in the best way you know how. You never know when you may not have the chance again. And to those who are suffering, whether physically or emotionally, trust that God is holding you tight sharing your pain. He’s saying “me too”.