10.27.2011

Physical Therapy

Yesterday I began treatment with my Physical Therapist. I didn't go in there with high hopes and I left with even smaller ones.

The Dr. did her protocol exam where she examines my muscles, my spine, my reflexes, etc. She says my muscles are weak and we need to do everything we can do get them strong again. She also stated that my spine and posture are crooked. Really? I hadn't noticed.

The plan: to do daily exercises to strengthen my muscles. Visit one time a week for 6-8 weeks. Ice my back every two hours for 10-15 minutes for 4 weeks.

This part of my post may be kind of a stretch, but track with me while I process.

Last night I was laying in bed reading about Jesus feeding the 5,000. The disciples had suggested that they send the people away to go eat but Jesus said "You feed them" to which they replied that they didn't have enough to give them. So Jesus told them to go and see what they did have. At that time the young boy gave them five loaves and two fish. Jesus then used that to multiply and give to eat to everyone, including left overs that filled up twelve baskets.

Here's my thought, Jesus didn't perform the miracle without first getting something from the disciples to work with. I think this past month I've been waiting for God to perform a miracle and completely heal my back to 110%. I'm not saying He can't still do that, but as I was laying in bed doing my exercises I thought to myself "this physical therapy process could be my loaves and my fish" as in, I really felt like in order for me to get better I need to do my part.

Doing my part would include going to my weekly visits, doing the daily exercises, and doing my best to keep myself healthy. That is all for now.

Still a work in progress...

10.25.2011

Update

Today marks one month since I've been experiencing back pain. I wish I could say that I am 100% better but the truth is that I'm about 20% better. Since my last post I have seen my primary care Dr who sent me home with steroids, muscle relaxers, norcos (pain pails), and a referral to a back specialist.

Upon meeting with my back specialist she recommended I give physical therapy a shot. She also advised me to stop going to the chiropractor because she feels they cannot fix what I have. It is suspected that I have a herniated disk that is effecting the sciatic nerve. Once the sciatic nerve is involved it inflicts pain through out the entire leg, also causing numbness to a certain degree. I am currently experiencing all of these symptoms.

Being that this has been going on for a month you can imagine my frustration with not being able to do things at full capacity. I still struggle with standing for more than a few minutes at a time, and I still can't walk far distances. It's a helpless feeling for an independent person like myself to know that I can't do everything I could before. My mother as amazing as she is, recently came to my apartment to clean and wash my clothes while I sat on the couch working on my laptop because I couldn't do any of it. Her being there to help me is of course a huge blessing, but it's also frustrating.

Emotionally-- I am better. Well, I don't know if it's better, I think if anything its turned from being emotionally teary, to emotionally angry. My patience is limited and my temper fuse is shorter. Is my pain a reason to lose my cool? No. I would say that it should extend grace when I don't respond in a manner that I should. But I also know that regardless of how I'm physically feeling it shouldn't dictate how I act and treat others. A work in progress.

If you read this, please be praying for God's healing power over me. I know that surgery is my last resort, but it's looking more and more like something that I need to consider.

B.

10.06.2011

Twelve Days Later

For the past twelve days I have had the most excruciating pain in my lower back, my sciatic area to be exact. I’ve had back issues ever since I was kid due to a bad car accident where I wasn’t wearing my seat belt. I’ve known chiropractors and physical therapist most of my life.

The pain normally flares up and last no more than a day or two. This pain that I feel now is more than I ever have before. The fact that it wasn’t going away really started to concern me. With a visit to my primary care Dr and a bottle of Ibuprofen later the pain is still there. I finally gave in and made a visit to a highly recommended Dr for chiropractic treatment.

After my first initial exam and x rays it was evident that I have a severely damaged disk that is directly linked to my sciatic nerve. If you know at all what this feels like, I’m sorry. I would never wish this type of pain on anyone. I will be going to the chiropractor for the next month three times a week for adjustments and electric stimulation. If that doesn’t work we move on to decompression that costs 7,000. If that doesn’t work then it’s time to consider surgery. I am putting faith in that I won’t need to go past doing weekly adjustments.

It may not seem like a big deal, but its effecting everything that I do. As easy as it used to be to get in and out of my car, in and out of my bed, walking from the parking lot to my office. These are all things that I now I have to add extra time to because I don’t move as easily as I used to. I risk ripping ligaments so I have to take it slow.

I can handle pain pretty well so the fact that this is effecting me as much as it is can show you how much I am not exaggerating. I would say the worst part about all of this is the emotional toll it’s taking on me. I’ve come to realize that I am emotional person. I think it comes from years of pushing my feelings to the side because I didn’t grow up with a family who embraced feelings and emotions. We were taught that we’re fine, and to move on.

The emotional drainage that I am experiencing is exhausting to say the least. I get frustrated when I can’t walk from my room to the kitchen without stopping because it hurts. Frustrated that I can’t stand for too long. Frustrated that I can’t properly stand up straight.

I know things can be worse. They can always be worse. I’m reminding myself that I am truly blessed that this problem isn’t something bigger. Blessed that it is treatable. Blessed that I can afford to pay for the treatment I am receiving. And finally blessed that situations like these always remind me who cares about me and who is willing to take care of me when it’s needed.

I don’t do well with depending on others. I always feel that when situations like this arise that God is teaching and reminding me that it’s ok that I get taken care of for a change. I’m used to being the one who takes care of everyone. But the reality is that I can’t take care of anyone, if I’m not first taking care of myself.