Making A List, And Checking It Twice

In the past few months I’ve heard more people talk about making a list of things they wish to find in their future husband or wife. I was in a conversation with a good friend of mine about relationships when I was told that I should write out a list of all things that are non-negotiable in what I would hope and pray to find in a husband.

Where do you start when making a list of the so called “perfect” man? It almost seems like a joke to think that you would find someone that fits into this perfect mold of a man that you want forever. I fully agree that you should know what you like and dislike, and that you should know the things you are or aren’t willing to compromise. The thing about writing out the list isn’t so much that you are finding the perfect man. It’s that you are setting the guideline for the things that you know in your heart you can’t live without.

I won’t share my entire list with you but I can tell you that my TOP non-negotiable about a man that I desire (other than loving God with his whole heart) is that he NEEDS to be funny. Humor is too much apart of my life to be with someone who doesn’t make me want to laugh until I cry. After all, I can’t be the sole person with jokes in the relationship. To some people that may not be a big deal, to me, it’s a deal breaker.

The thing about lists is that when does it get to the point where it’s almost too nit picky. And who’s to say that it’s nit picky if it’s your list? For example: what if your list looked like this:

Potential husband: must be 6 ft tall or taller. Brown hair. Olive skin. Dark eyes. Must play a musical instrument. Must have at least two years work experience. Should have money saved in the bank in case of emergencies. Hair should never be longer than mine. No history of family diseases. Must love dogs.

When does it stop looking like a job description and start looking like you’re looking for someone to do life with?

I’m not an expert, but I think our list should start looking like this:

Loves God
Funny
Family Man
Supportive
Goal Oriented
Servant Heart
Wants Children
Challenges Me
Traveler
Intelligent

Everyone’s list will look differently. My thought on all of this is that sometimes things don’t always happen like you would think they would. Maybe you end up falling for a guy who is 5’7 and you always dreamed you would marry a guy who was 6’4. Maybe you end up with hot blooded Latina when you swore you would only date the typical girl next door with blonde hair and freckles.

My point to all of this is that God is much bigger than the lists we create. But I will end this with saying that God also created you for nothing but His best. Don’t settle for someone that doesn’t meet your non-negotiable. Make your list, and check it twice, but don’t be so rigid that you could potentially push someone away that could be the perfect fit even though they don’t fit into the cookie cutter you’ve created.