These past five days haven't been easy. I will say though, that they have been a huge blessing. From Wednesday night when I got home from the Dr to this moment right now I feel like a new person. I am able to walk more than I was, I am not in constant pain, and my spirit is much higher than it was. My daily doses of steroids and pain pills will continue on until November 28th so there is still so much more room for improvement. I am not 100% better but I have faith that soon I will reach complete healing.
For anyone who has followed along in this adventure with me you would have read my previous blogs about what God has been teaching me. Journaling everyday has been really good for me. I'm a processor. If I don't actually sit down and write out my thoughts I feel as though they float around in my brain and never get addressed. This time alone has really allowed me to focus and realign myself with Him.
One of the top things I felt He reminded me of is that He is more concerned about my relationship with Him, than He is about what I'm doing for Him. It's classic really. I always end up doing things FOR Him instead of with Him. And I always find myself getting caught up in the work of God, and not so much in the relationship with God. It felt like it was a reminder to me that all He wants is me. Yes, I'm sure He's happy with me in that I do what He asks of me, but I know he is more concerned with what He and I share.
If I ever had any doubt that I was loved and cared for this experience would have proven me wrong. I am beyond blessed with the family and friends that I have as my support system. The person that I am always wants to give and has a hard time receiving. These past days have been amazing to let others take care of me. I am a very independent person, anyone who knows me at all knows I like to take care of myself. Even when it comes to God I feel as though I say "Hey God, it's ok, I got this" when really I don't.
It almost feels like me letting my friends and family take care of me was me letting God take care of me. I thank Him for that. I thank every person who called, texted, visited, hung out, picked up my slack at work, and held down the forte at Remnant. I sit in awe of how many blessings I have.
In the spirit of Thanksgiving I urge you to really look at what you are thankful for. If you woke up tomorrow with only the things you thanked God for the night before what would you be left with? Just something to think about.
Please continue to pray for my 100% healing. I believe He can, I believe He will, all in His timing.
|Day 5: It's over :)|