Tough Decision

As most of you know I have been planning for my mission trip to Thailand since late last year when we found out officially where we were going. From the last blog about this trip I posted that the trip may not be possible for me at this time due to conflicts in work schedule.

Last night an “Emergency” meeting was called to discuss the progress of the trip. To get short and sweet, we were told that we need AT LEAST 5 people to go on this trip with 1 leader (Catalyst Director). That would be the worst case scenario. As I was sitting at the table listening to the different possibilities of this trip it really started to sink in that this trip wasn’t going to happen for me.

As you all know when the trip got postponed I had to come back to work and ask for my vacation time to be switched. My boss informed me that there was nothing she could do about switching but that she was very sorry. I took it upon myself to try and persuade those who were taking vacation in that time but unfortunately it didn’t work.

Taking all of that into consideration, the only way that this trip was going to happen for me is if I quit my job. I don’t feel God is calling me to quit my job. That said, I officially told Mary and Jason that I withdrawal myself from this trip. I told them that I didn’t think it was fair of me to continue fundraising money for myself for a trip that I may not be on. I also don’t think it’s fair for the planning aspect of it. A lot of detail goes into planning these trips. Everything from planning how many rooms to get, to how many lesson plans etc. I felt it was selfish of me to have them continue planning as if I was going to be there and then last minute come to the realization that I really can’t go because of work.

Don’t get me wrong, I know God is bigger than my work schedule but I also know that there is nothing in me that is telling me to continue fighting for this, at least not for me. As far as fundraising goes, the team still needs YOUR help! We have a couple rummage sales, babysitting nights and a bowling night for fundraising. The team still needs all the help they can get. I may not be going on this trip but I will definitely be supporting my team as if I was.

The team is having another rummage sale on Saturday the 30th (next week). If you have ANYTHING to donate please let me know and we will be more than happy to come pick up your items.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way. It means the world to me.



Girls Night

Last night myself and 21 other amazing women from South Hills went out to Saddleback Church out in Lake Forest for Girls Night. I was invited by the lovely Gretchen Baxter :) Seriously, the more time I spend with the woman the more I'm amazed at what a great person she is. She's hilarious, loving, supportive and a blast to hang with.

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31: 25

This was the verse that was focused on last night. Kay Warren (Rick Warrens wife) was the main speaker for the evening. She spoke about fear and how we should be able to laugh at the future without worry. What I liked about her was that she didn't say "This is what we should do, so do it" It was more real, she said that she struggled her whole life with fear of the unknown. Constantly thinking something bad was coming, she feared the future whole heartedly.

She said she finally got to a breaking point where she said she wasn't going to let herself be overcome with such fear, worry and anxiety. It spoke to me because I'm the same way. Or at least I've gotten MUCH better. I used worry a lot about the future and what's going to happen, where I will be, what will I be doing. But I think I'm slowly learning and trusting more that God's got my back. I realize more and more that If I'm in God's will then He really will take care of me.

She also spoke about being prepared for the waves of life. That we shouldn't be laying in the sand waiting for them to hit us but instead we should "Decide to be a woman who sees the waves coming but chooses to believe that God is the God of waves" Do you believe that? I do. We should continue to live boldly even if we can see the waves coming. We should live our lives with freedom and have faith in the promises of God.

I had never been to an event where there were so many women of different ages, races, backgrounds etc. It was really good to be able to spend time with such strong women in our church community. I also got to meet some new faces that I had never really gotten to know before last night. A few months ago I probably would have said no to an event like this but I'm trying new things and really taking to heart what P.Chris says about friends and who I surround myself with, which is "Show me your friends and I will show you your future. BAM! It's like that.

All in all I had a really great night. Good message. Good people.



As most of you know I was supposed to leave for Thailand on May 27th, yes I said "supposed". We had a team mission meeting on Thursday afternoon to discuss the fact that we are still very far from our financial goal for this trip. We were told that our trip is being moved to July 22nd to August 3rd. My first reaction was to be thankful that the trip wasn't canceled completely because I know that was an option. My second reaction however was when reality set in.

I realized that changing my vacation time from work wouldn't be that easy. When I say wouldn't be that easy I mean it's virtually impossible. All I could think about after that meeting was that there was a huge possibility I wouldn't be able to go on this trip. All I could do at that point was hope for the best and pray pray pray.

The next morning I went in and spoke with my boss and told her everything that was going on. We looked at the vacation schedules and she informed that those weeks were already taken and that there was someone on the wait list as well. So I would need to convince three people to move their vacation days. I immediately started crying, this whole thing has just really worked me up. My boss started crying a bit with me and told me she was really sorry but there was nothing she could do.

There was nothing she could do? Maybe there is nothing I can do? I think I've done just about all I can do at this point. I think that if God really wants me on this trip then He will make it happen. Annie said something to me last night about this whole thing, she said that in all the mission trips she has ever seen that not one of them was canceled or postponed due to money. she said money always comes through. She said she thinks there may be a bigger reason as to why this is all happening. Maybe we aren't supposed to be there in May? Maybe we aren't supposed to be there at all? Maybe I'M just not supposed to be there.

I told Mary that I had a dream a few weeks ago that I was told we were no longer going, she told me she had the same dream. Prophetic? Maybe. Maybe not. Jason said that's the enemy trying to psych me out. Keeping all that in mind I have got to believe that if God wants me there He will make this happen. So at this point it's a waiting game BUT I ask that if you're reading this right now that you would pray for me and my team. Regardless of whether I get to go or not, please pray for them and this trip.

Thanks for reading :)



Spread the word!

We all still need LOTS of money for Thailand! Please come, you'll be eating for a great cause ;)

Also, we are having a rummage sale on May 16th to keep raising funds for this trip. We have until May 17th to have ALL of our money in. Ya, talk about cutting it close with the fundraising. If you have ANYTHING that you do not want and would like to donate so we can sell PLEASE let us know! You can contact myself or Jolene and we would be more than happy to come and take whatever items off your hands :)

Countdown till we leave: 25 days! Please keep praying for us. For funds, for creative ideas on how to communicate the word, for favor, for safety etc.