Power of Prayer

Sometimes I underestimate the power that's behind prayer. I think sometimes I don't realize that He's really listening to me. I guess the whole concept that there are billions of other people praying to the same God and that most are probably talking to Him all at the same time that it blows me away that He can hear all of us at the same time. So I get the mentality of "Well why should he listen to me?" I'm not going through what some others are going through. I guess that's where I come to the realization that He can hear all of us and care about what seem like small things all the way to the bigger things.

I don't know that I make sense, I seem to be all over the place this morning. But I say all of this to say that I underestimate the power behind praying to God and I'm trying to break out of that. I'm trying to realize that it's ok that I ask Him for help and that He's not going to get tired of listening to me or get tired of making me feel better. I struggle with relying on anyone for anything. So I feel like God is the only one I can really 100% rely on without feeling like I'm being a burden.

Today I'm praying to get through the day... that's all.



"Burn Your Life Down"

I've had this song stuck in my head for the past few days. I think T & S are starting to grow on me.

Tell me that you know another way to get it done
it’s not me or how I would be
but it’s a different situation a different situation
you lay awake in the night just staring at the ceiling above
pulling pieces of it out is such a waste of time
keep on fighting to remember that nothing is lost in the end

when you burn burn burn your life down

get me to the door out of bed on the track I’m not sure
starting over
It’s a different situation a different situation
you wake up in the night and refuse to be afraid of it now
unfolding pieces of it faster don’t you waste your time
you’ve been planning to remember so nothing will be lost in the end

and you burn burn burn your life down
and you burn burn burn your life down

I travel around the block and I’m not looking to my right
I feel the glass against my cheek
and I can’t see you in the light
I break my heart around this break my heart around this

I travel around the block and I’m not looking to my right
I feel the glass against my cheek
and I can’t see you in the light
I break my heart around this break my heart around this pole


It's that time of year again...

In less than an hour it'll be March 25th 2009. The date may not mean much to you but to me it was the day my life changed forever. My dad passed away three years ago. Some days it feels like weeks ago and some days it feels like years. I still miss him just as much as the very first day that it happened. Sometimes I think I'm still in denial. Like I still think I can call him up on the phone and tell him something that happened to me that day. Or that I can ask him for advice on what to do about a current situation. Some days I'll hear a certain song and I feel like like it just happened right in that moment.

I say that it changed my life forever because that was the reason that got me going to church. I remember feeling so sad about everything. Sad that we were losing our house, cars, money etc. We (my mom and I) moved in with my sister and her partner, I thought my life was ending. Little did I know it was just beginning. I got invited to church by my best friend Candice. It was pretty much history after the first time I attended a service. I remember getting a free bible from church and doing my best to read my bible and attend Sunday morning services.

I say all this to say that everything that has happened in my life happens for a specific purpose. I believe I am blessed that I get to see the amazing fruit that comes from tragedy in my life. I don't know that everyone can see the silver lining in the most horrible situations they face. My dad died but I re-gained God. Not that he was ever absent in my life but I really dove into him when this all happened. I'm beginning to see a pattern.

I don't know that anniversaries make me think about him more, because I think about him everyday. I think it's just the reminder that on this specific day this happened to me and my family. And unfortunately I begin to relive the way it all occurred. I'm keeping my head up high today. Remembering that I love him and miss him and that he's in a much better place.



(No Comment)

I stole this from Candice. One of the many pictures from Heather's bacholorette party. LOVE these girls.


Love this kid...

I got to babysit the little guy for a couple hours today while Mommy went to a Dr's appt. We got some good quality time in (when he wasn't crying that mom left). We Took some pics together and watched a little tv. This kid is adorable, and I don't just say that because he's my nephew ;)


Sunday Afternoon

Just another Sunday afternoon. Joyce Meyer is kicking my butt!

Things I did this weekend:

Heather's Bacholorette Party!


Worked Coffee Corner w/ Jo Jo

Corre's Barfday dinner/movie (I love you, man) "Slapping the bass!"

Church (Billy's message really got me)

Mission meeting for Thailand! (Still need 1,800 wink wink ;) )

Furnace (Awesome job Kretzu) I took notes.

"Twilight" with a bunch of girls (I give in, Edward is a cutie)

Pretty great weekend. I get to babysit Luca tomorrow, looking forward to the quality time. And now I'm exhausted. Bed time.


Be More Like Jesus? Easier Said Than Done.

So these past few weeks have been crazy for me. The days feel more like weeks and the weeks feel more like months. About a week ago I was drying my hair when I heard God say "You should apologize to (insert persons name here)" and I was like "Huuuuh?!" Now I know this didn't come from me because I wouldn't have thought to apologize to this person. So I immediately thought "how in the world am I going to do that?" well... of course... he created a perfect time and setting for me.

As I approached this person I told her that it may sound odd but that I wanted her to know that I was sorry if I ever I was rude, or if ever she felt I was cutting her down or just plain not being uplifting. She seemed a bit confused and asked what brought this all on. I told her that I felt I had the wrong perception of her. She said she understood what I meant and completely accepted my apology. She also added that God told her I wasn't really the way she thought I was either. So she forgave me before I even came to her. Talk about grace.

I share this story to say that God has really been showing me and telling me that I really need to step it up in really being like Him. That If I choose to call myself a Christian that I better start acting like it. Don't get me wrong, if you know me then you know that I would probably do anything for you. But sometimes it's just not good enough. He's showing me the areas in my life that I lack in really being like Him. This wasn't easy for me, in fact it was probably one of the hardest apologies I've ever offered. But He really pulled through for me, I made her feel better and that's really all that matters. I was obedient to His request and I know he will bless that.



Mom. Ma. Mama. Madre.

I had lunch with my mom just a bit ago. I miss her. I miss the way things used to be. She was a different person back before my dad passed away, it's coming up on his three year anniversary (March 25th). More to come on that topic later in the week. This is an old picture but it's one of my favorites.

As I was sitting with her at lunch she was talking to me about my aunts and cousins. My mom is 1 of 15 kids, got that? So needless to say there are a LOT of cousins on my mom's side. She was filling me on how one of my aunts abandoned her 19 yr. old son because he doesn't want to do anything with his life and that now she's supposedly living in her car because she had to give up her apartment. So what am I complaining about? Nothing. I forget that EVERYONE has problems, that I'm not by myself in this world. And that things can ALWAYS be worse. I am incredibly grateful for all the blessings in my life.

If you read this, please pray for her. I will continue to do the same.



New Discovery

I came home today for lunch and went outside to check on June when I smelled the most amazing aroma! I just discovered that our mandarin tree in the backyard has orange blossoms! One of my absolute favorite smells. Funny how something so small can make my day a little bit better.

Almost got attacked by bees for these one of kind shots on the celly. If these could be made into bouquets I would want them delivered to me on a weekly basis.

I'm exhausted. Today was a very long day (and still not over). Worked from 730-4 then had class from 4-845. Finally I'm home relaxing on the couch watching Rambo (not my choice) Stallone should stop making movies, who said that?

Until next time...



Work In Progress...

My talented friend Nicole is drawing my next tattoo. I'm excited to say the least! The bird is supposed to signify me, the branch is to signify the strength of God that I can rest upon. Not sure if there will be flowers on it or not BUT there will most likely be leaves, those would signify starting something new (i think). I most likely wont be getting this for months to come, more so because tattoos cost $$$ AND when I go to Thailand I wouldn't want to have to wear sleeves in that heat!

Today really felt like a day off, woke up to June (my new alarm clock) haha jk. Then headed out to the gym with Heath and Linds. Got to watch a couple episodes of The O.C. with the girls then went to my meetings and classes. Got to come home to have dinner and watch Transporter 3 (Thank you Chris for 2 hours that I will never get back). Jason Stathem will forever be "Handsome Rob" (Thank you Es for agreeing).

Sad to say that my weekend is over and it's back to work tomorrow. Praying for a good day.



Breath of Fresh Air

This morning I started out my day meeting with Pastor Chris Harrell aka P. Chris aka PCH and so on and so forth. Our meeting was supposed to be for about an hour... turned into two hours and a half. I won't go into all the details of what we talked about but I'll tell you that he brings something to look forward to. I was completely honest and open with him about where I am, where I want to go and what the role is that I would like for him to play in my life.

I really think this is going to be something great for me. So far I feel we are completely on the same page. He's giving me support, which is much needed at this point in my life. I told him that I am someone who needs to be needed and when my needs aren't met I feel I'm not contributing and makes me feel I need to move on. I need to feel that I am being utilized to the best of my ability. When I see a need I fill it. I'm really looking forward to seeing this ministry BLOW up (in a good way)!

In other news, I was able to have lunch with Nicole, Dan, Corre and Tones today at Lamppost. I suck at the trivia game, too quick on the draw. We ended up getting a movie and coming back to the house to hang out and get some much needed R & R. Then I get a call from Candice saying that we have a new addition to the SheShack... Introducing... JUNE:

She's pretty awesome. I'm excited to have her in the house :)

Today has been a pretty good Sunday. No complaints. Praise God.

Looking forward to working out with Heath in the morning and probably hitting up Mini Taco Monday at La Mesita with Jolene, it's turning into a Monday tradition.



Lunch Break

This is what I did on my lunch today. I went and hung out with Mark, Jo Jo, Corre and Linds. After a rough morning I needed some friendly encounters, they always come through. They are having a garage sale because the boys are moving on and moving out and Jo is raising money for Thailand.

I too am going to Thailand in May, the 27th to be exact. We'll be gone for two weeks and back on June 8th. (Insert shameless plea for money) I too need $$$ so if you should desire to send donations my way, please feel free ;)

Random Side Note: I feel I have so much to say lately that it's just overflowing out of me. So... I bought myself a journal with purple and green funky elephants (1 <3 elephants) on it from Barnes and Noble. I can spend hours in that store. I really enjoy reading these days. I am almost preferring it over sitting on the computer or sitting in front of a tv.

Along with my journal I bought myself a daily devotional by Joyce Meyer. Heath suggested it may be good for me to have something I can read daily. The one I got is called Battlefield of the Mind. It basically goes over encouragement, fear, worry, doubt, confusion and how the enemy uses all of these things to stray us away from the truth and the path we should be on with God. So far what I've read has been spot on. Thanks Heath ;)

Things I'm looking forward to:

Working the Coffee Corner w/ Mary

Having dinner with friends

Time with the Big Guy

Time with a good book

Time in my comfy bed

Looking for a bike to buy (yes, I am giving in) If you have a cheap bike let me know!

Seeing the drawing Nicole is making for my next tattoo :)

P.S. PRAY... for me... for someone... for everyone. Do it.


It's about time!

I finally got my ibook back from the Mac store. This was my view the other night... checking email, sipping on a white mocha and watching Millionaire Matchmaker. Yes, that's what I was watching. Candice and Geoff got me hooked.

P.S. This means I will be blogging more often as well. So stay tuned... it's bout to get a little more interesting up in here. Wow... I think I have a little ghetto left in me from L.A. last night.


Hollywooood "What's Your Dream?!"

Last night about 20 something of us went out to Hollywood for a teen outreach out on Hollywood Blvd. It's a club for teens to come play some games, eat some food, get their groove on and make some friends. The goal is to get the kids off the streets, teach them about God and show them that Christians can have fun too, that they don't have to give up fun if they give their lives to Christ. In fact it's the opposite, they're teaching them that if you give your life to Christ you'll forever have joy and unconditional love.

The whole idea of it is pretty awesome. Every room had something different, anything from air hockey to Rockband to a bunch of couches called the "Chill" room to the dance floor (my personal favorite) to playing basketball and football outside. I was telling a few people that I would want to go hang there on a Friday night! The kids seem to really enjoy it, I asked a few if they go there a lot they said almost every Friday. So someone is doing something right.

It feels good to go out and do something. I particularly liked it because it was the age group I normally work with. I also enjoyed the fact that our own youth kids went out to help and hang out. Seeing them grow into Godly men and women is a pretty cool thing. It may sound cheesey but it's totally true. I love that they have the heart to serve and make a difference.

Until next time...



Baby Bambi Face Turns 22!

So tonight we went out to Joe's Sushi out in Riverside. First of all... that place is crazy! I don't think I've seen so much sushi in my life. I think there was close to 40 people there. It was a lot of fun though, got to hang out with people I don't normally see on a regular basis. Every time I hang out with them I am reminded of the reasons why I love the people around me.

I've been feeling that a lot lately... love. My friends and family are amazing in every sense of the word. I forget how supportive they are of me. It's overwhelming when you're in a vulnerable place and you let people in. It's not something I normally do. But lately I've let my guard down and let people "love on me" I find myself feeling very thankful for the people in my life. I believe God has placed each one of them in my life for a specific purpose. I also believe he speaks to me through them, for that I thank him even more!

Anywho this was supposed to be about Josh and his big day... but I guess I felt like saying thank you... so thank you... you all know who you are.



"Romancing the Brick Wall"

A friend of mine from work gave me a book to read. A chapter entitled "Romancing the brick wall" hit me HARD! Pretty much confirmed everything that God has been telling me.

So I hit a brick wall, how do I get through it? A lot of patience and a whole lot of trust. Trust in God that is. Easier said than done.

More to come...