1.31.2009

It's been a while

Candice pointed out to me the other day that I haven't blogged in about two months. Where does the time go? I'll tell you where:

-Work
-School
-Boyfriend
-Church
-Friends
-Family
-Work
-Play

The list goes on...


I've been so busy lately I haven't had time to just sit and take it all in. School started up again so now I have class from 530 to 830 on Mondays, which kinda sucks because that's my day off and I can't really do anything during the day because I have to be back at school in the afternoon. Then they just dropped the bomb on us that our classes are no longer going to be all night Thursday, now they are Wednesday from 4-9 and Thursday from 4-7. Sigh... don't get me wrong, I love what I do. I would just like to have nothing planned sometimes and go with the flow.

Speaking of go with the flow, I used to be very "let's play it by ear" I've turned into the person who can't do that anymore because if I play it by ear I'll never get anything done or anything planned. My schedule forces me to pencil events in even if it's meeting someone to just catch up. I don't know how I feel about that sometimes. I miss the days where I would get a call from a friend asking to hang out and me without hesitating would say SURE! Now it's "well, I have class at this time, I have a leadership meeting this day, and tomorrow I have interning hours" It starts to wear a girl out. On the other hand... I love knowing what my day is going to look like so I can prepare myself for it. Obviously, I have mixed emotions on that one.

Speaking of mixed emotions. I feel like I've been going through a lot lately and haven't really been able to express how I feel about it. Pastor Daniel Martinez (my intern Pastor) is no longer at our church. I have been interning with him since school started last year, I love the guy. Always encouraging, uplifting, knew how to talk to me, not at me. Best of all, he really cared. I'm having a hard time with the changes and transitions of it all.

Tuesday nights we do service for the Jr. High and High School kids and it used to be something I looked forward to. A night of fun, learning, and hanging out with the kids. Now I somewhat dread going there because I feel completely out of place, like I serve no purpose. I feel like it's partially my fault, like I just decided to say "screw it" I don't want to be in this anymore because of everything that's happened. I know that's not the right attitude so I'm snapping out of it, but more and more every Tuesday gets a little bit harder.

I find myself having more fun on Wednesday nights at W.O.W. which is the childrens program "Wild On Wednesdays". And now that we have school on Wednesdays I can't go to that either, which was something I would look forward to in the week. :( What's God trying to tell me? I have no clue. I guess I should just listen more instead of rambling.

Reading and typing all this out makes it sound like I'm unhappy about everything. Not true at all. I still love being ministry, I am thankful for my job even though it can be stressful, I enjoy being in school and learning more and more everyday about myself and about the love of God. I guess it's just this transition that has me frazzled. I always say change is a good thing, it's the transition to getting there that isn't always the best. Not in my case most times.

I don't know if any of this made sense but if it did and you have some words of wisdom for me or some encouragement, please feel free to pass them my way. On another note: Kids Camp is coming up on Valentines Day weekend and I'm super excited to experience it, I keep hearing it'll change my life.


Things I'm looking forward to:

-Jesse coming home tonight from Mexico :) I need a good hug right now.

-Lunch w/mom, pray for me!

-Working the coffee corner tonight with Miss Karis

-Eastvale tomorrow morning with the kiddies

-A relaxing Sunday Afternoon with nothing planned but The Furnace

Till next time...

B.